I cried a lot today. I didn’t think I’d write anything since my day was shit and I’m not in the best headspace, but I figured…why not? I’ll try to step out of it by thinking of 3 things I’m grateful for today.
I walked around the block with Kelz in a cozy bag. I avoided eye contact and focused on moving forward while rubbing Kelzou’s head. I haven’t walked in a long time and it felt like such an accomplishment.
I made my bed this morning, and there’s something difficult to explain about walking past my room throughout the day and seeing my bed made. It’s somewhat of a reassuring sense of order and control. Another accomplishment?
I currently have an oatmeal anti-stress face mask on right now. I have to go rinse it in 5 minutes.
As much as I thought really hard about what I could list, it reminds me that small accomplishments matter. I guess I’m grateful for having being able to do these things today amidst the chaos. I’m grateful for actions? Next time I do this exercise, I wanna explore what I can be grateful for that I haven’t actually “done” perse; perhaps something I already have? A memory? Whatevs, I’ll leave that for later. For now, reminder that it’s okay to feel a lot and be overwhelmed by reality and things I have no control over. If I feel powerless, it should lead to decreasing the amount of pressure I put on myself to “fix” things. It is what it is - a powerful proverb.
P.S. Ok -7 mins to remove the mask. It’s all dried up by now. Byeee!