"save to watch later"

i realize that i have this impulse of when i don’t understand or don’t get something, i just wanna press “←” on my keyboard to rewind 15s. i was shocked and now ashamed of this discovery i made today. what does that say about our generation??? lol ok i’m 30, i don’t know if that’s a saying i can still use at that age. oops! anyways. but yeah i do wonder tho, what kind of impact does it have on human evolution and our ways of connecting to one another and to the environment/our surroundings. i remember reading something about oral history and having a different listening experience when you watch the video and have the freedom to rewind and listen again. society’s clearly a different context tho.

btw, i gave up with the capitalization. SUE MEH. sometimes it’s just gon’ be like dat, y’know?

alright back to what i was saying. does covid have something to do with it? perhaps how we live on screens now? hmm maybe not. cuz zoom is live and can’t rewind…ALTHOUGH..in my class today, we were watching a video on the professor’s screen and I thought “ugh, I’ll rewatch later” and I missed something someone said, I’d be a lil frustrated that I couldn’t rewind. woah. maybe the problem is me????

February 2nd, 2022

It’s officially Black History Month. I never really know how to truly feel about it.

I don’t know..celebration of our pain, suffering, tumultuous past, but also accomplishments which often are “the 1st black X” to have accomplished this..like ok great, but it mostly sounds like a compliance to the system..like oh look this person was able to use the tools…

…wow I closed my eyes mid-sentence and totally forgot what I was talking/typing about.

I think it’s a sign dat sleep gon’ be good tonight

Wait. My fingers were typing as i was writing, while my eyes were closed.

But it happened again and my fingers also took a quick pause. When I take a nap, or just sleep tbh my body parts are also taking naps. That’s why in the morning we feel more energized, cuz errbody snoozed. They all talk to each other and understand even if they all speak different languages. I guess I also understand. Like when my stomach’s like “ayoo ay, ay, what about a dinner date?” I know that means i gotta eat. Dirty talk. Duh. Get w the program!!

Ok tangeant ending. (Although, what if this content is just an amalgam of tangents with no pertinent story. Alright, well my eyes and fingers already told me they can’t support my body/brain. I’ll prepare my body for various tasks, aka, my night routine and heading to bed. (Conan’s Jordan Schlansky reference anyone? yeah probs not.)

FUCK MEEEEE

I’m glad to have this fucking outlet to release some FUCKING ANGER!!!!!!

I made some tablèt last night, and now I gotta store them. I could’ve waited and gone to the dollar store and Ikea tomorrow, but NO! I went anyway to run this quick errand and turns out, it didn’t even take 20 mins before I GOT A MFKN TICKET!!!! Fucking asshole. I’m sure the agent saw me leave my car and was like ayyyy. Fuck him. And fuck his job.

Idk, I had been so good at paying even if it was just for a few minutes..and I kinda stopped not too long ago, I don’t know why? I think it’s like a mid-pandemic thing. Like leave us alone already!!! But I can’t take anything for granted so I’m going back to paying. I hate this shit. 80$!!!! And I did my prayer and everything before driving. I should’ve asked to not encounter any assholes, and also no tickets. But I guess that’s on me -_-

FUCK ME THEN!!!!! Ugh, can’t keep going back and forth. I gotta stick to the path that protects me from these kinds of situations by just fkn paying a few cents.

Alright, I’m done. Not really cuz I’m still boiling but I feel like this is longer than it should, so Imma stop here and go drink some water.

I should’ve stayed home and do all the things on my to-do list instead of leaving the house all hungry to run some irrelevant errands. FUCK ME. BYE

Yo gurl Orgal

NOOOOOOOOOOOO. I just wrote a post and deleted it by accident. Let me try to recap. Wow. A recap of a recap! How exciting. smh

Alright. I made Haitian tablèt today. It’s like a cashew sweet, damn..just google it. “You’ll find the answer on the computer” as my dad would say. eyeroll Right. So in the spirit of nothing to say, I’ll follow with 3 proud moments of my day:

• I was able to have a difficult conversation with my friend and spoke from the heart.

• I did my daily freewriting this morning.

• Hmmmmmm. I did my dishes as I was cooking. There’s still something left but BEST BELIEVE I’LL DO IT AFTER THIS POST. Again, who am I??? Should I name my adulting self?? What about Orgal? Organized…gal….get it? I should be ashamed of my level of lameness. BUT I AIN’T.

• I remembered to wear leggings under my jeans today. -16° Celsius, but ma legz were warm. U mad?

• That was 4. Who cares? I’m an adult remember? K, bah!

Not a white refrigerator!!!!

It’s official. I’ve missed 2 blog days. And as much as my initial impulse was to feel bad about it, I was able to remind myself that it’s a process….and that’s ok. We all take vacations sometimes, don’t we? (I mean hopefully, even if it’s for a couple of mins or hours.

Alright so…I’ve been binging cleaning and organization videos. What’s gotten into me????? Idk but it feels good to have a clean space. I guess it was because I had a lil down looking around my house and wanting my own renovated house with big countertops. It felt so far awayyy, ahhhh. I watched one of those decluttering videos and the lady ended with “If you love what you have, you don’t need anything”. Such simple words made me tear up. They also boosted me to go on a kitchen cleaning craze. I mean, I went. for. itttt. Omg, I just laid down on the couch and fell asleep. There goes the first missed blog day.

I’m back tho. And I feel better about doing little things to make my space feel more breathable. Because, the way it was before…as Nene said it….wheeeew, chileee…the ghetto!!

Also, I had a shrooms badtrip last night. But I’ll tell you about it another time. Whew! The ghetto!